April 2013 Newsletter: Shakespeare Urban Translator


Midsummer Night’s Dream Urban Translator

Behold! Yo, check it.
What’s the news with thee? What up, dawg?
O cross! (See also: O spite! O hell!) Bummermuffins
O me! Fail
Nay No
No, no! Hellz no
Hail! Holla
Good morrow friends. Holla my honeys
Set your heart at rest Chillax
O monstrous!  O strange! No way.  That be whack
Mine ear is much enamored of thy note; So is mine eye enthralled to thy shape You da bomb diggety.
So sorrow’s heaviness doth heavier grow Sucks to suck
Why are you grown so rude? What’s your damage?
I jest to Oberon and make him smile I hella funny guy
And then the whole quire hold their hips and laugh, and waxen in their mirth and neeze and swear #LOL
A merrier hour was never wasted here That party was off the hook
This falls out better than I could devise Sweeeeeet!
Thou speakest aright Fo’ shizzle my nizzle
Wherefore was I to this keen mockery born? Why you hatin’ on me?
I am that merry wanderer of the night YOLO
A good persuasion True dat
Use me but as your spaniel, spurn me, strike me, neglect me, lose me; only give me leave, unworthy as I am, to follow you I’ll be your Rhianna if you be my Chris Brown
Get thee gone and follow me no more Bounce, creeper
Do not be so bitter with me Step off my grill
Never did mockers waste more idle breath Talk to the hand
You speak not as you think; it cannot be! Liar pants
Minimus (See also dwarf; bead; acorn) Vertically challenged
Full of vexation Emo
Juggler  (see also: canker-blossom) Tool
I understand not what you mean by this Girl, you cray
Tarry, rash wonton Hold up, speedy pants.
Cupid is a knavish lad (See also: The course of true love never did run smooth) Love stinks
Lord, what fools these mortals be! People be trippin’